How Common Is Depression in Adopted Children – as Adults?
Question by Suzanne: How common is depression in adopted children – as adults?
I have a couple friends who were adopted as children.
But one especially has dealt with depression for years. He seems to bounce from counselor to counselor.
He’s been on Prozac for years, but has tried going off of it, only to find he really needed it.
He told me he hates his adoptiive mother, who’s now old and dying. He must be conflicted, because he does go visit her. He told me he does know who his birth parents were, and where his birth father lives but wouldn’t try to meet him because he wouldn’t want to deal with still more rejection.
He’ll create situations to alienate his friends. It’s as if it were a test to see who will stick with him in spite of his being obnoxious at times. Never married. Seems to pick relationships that have some “impossible” element from the start, whether distance, social background, values… whatever.
Is this the “norm” for those who were adopted as children?
What can his friends do to help without losing their own sanity?
As satisfying as it may be to have someone to blame, it’s not really useful. I would really like to know what positive steps my friend, and those of us who are his friends, can take to help him be less sad, if not actually happy.
OMG calyx156! You are my hero! You have given me so much insight, this is incredibly helpful! (So of course, to reward you, I accidentally thumbs-downed you, duh)
(and I have to wait four hours to pick a best answer…)
MissKathleen: Your sensitivity is whelming.
Best answer:
Answer by Laura J
Prozac causes serious withdrawal symptoms that take time to get over, so Prozac is not needed.
I don’t believe that we have the right to say who is sane and is not sane and then give them drugs because of it.
If years of council doesn’t work, nutritional deficiencies are also a culprit as well.
My favorite answer from a woman who was a social worker and special education teacher that became a school principal said to me. “99.9% of the time, its the parents fault, because they project their own neurosis and obsessions on their children and drive them nuts.”
Your question couldn’t have come at better timing because I just got off the phone of a man who was adopted. His Aunt and husband adopted him from his mother, who was his Aunts sister, because his mom had an affair.
He was brought up as the child who was the product of an affair. So, all the whispers and look of shame on him was something that he owned. That he was a worthless person who didn’t deserve to be on this earth. All because his family lied to him and his mother was visiting him right under his nose and they told him to call her Aunt.
Then, he grows up after his parents pass away only to get a phone call from his half sister. Can you imagine the pain and struggle he went through? He never married, never had children and is not interested in long term relationships because of his experiences growing up as the child nobody really wanted.
The point is that he was never put on Prozac, but he did decide to supplement with natural products, phytosterols and glyconutrients. He is now depression free, writing scripts for TV and Film and living his life as an exemplary and talented human being.
He loves listening to Dr. Wayne Dyer as his inspiration and has gotten over all of it. Had he been on Prozac, I really doubt he would have moved on and healed from his bad experiences.
Answer by Pedi C
Suzanne, my daughter and I were just talking about this 2 days ago. We didn’t get into details but she told me depression is a very common trait for adopted children, that feeling of abandonment-thing.
When she returns I’m going to ask her to expand on this. She’ll love the opportunity to post on YA, since she makes so much fun of me for doing it. LOL
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